yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I forget how to act sober
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
