Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
