just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
