this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
