Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Sober January is a disaster.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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