After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
