No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
