k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
