I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
