The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
