this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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