I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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