just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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