If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
