We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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