dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
