My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
