So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
