I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
