shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
