I just made out with a guy for $7.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
