you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
