You just made me feel so damn special
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
