Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
