My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
