Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
