im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
