saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
