After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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