Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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