"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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