I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
