i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
