Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
