So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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