And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
