We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
