I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
