You're my little dorito
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
