What a fucking waste of an outfit
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She needs sedatives and a leash
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
