zippers are such a cool invention
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
