Pappa wants mamma naked
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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