Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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