There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
40s are totally the cure
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
