But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
