just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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