Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
