i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
