I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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