Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
