i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
