Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
