Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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