she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He felt like a one man threesome
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
